Thursday, August 11, 2011

I'm bored

Bored - bored - bored - bored - bored.  

Did everyone get that?

I am bored. After weeks maybe even months on a very busy schedule. So busy I could not find time to even Blog. I now find myself spending a great deal of quiet time at home resting. So why am I bored?

Truth be told I have stuff I could be doing. Just ask my Mother! You know cleaning my house, sorting something, planning to do something useful. Then there is my list of things. At least I can say on the average, I find those more fun to do and some are even more fun to think about.

Clay projects. Did I ever tell you that I'm a sculptor? I create mixed media sculptures. I don't really sell them, at least not yet. Mostly I give them away or keep them to inspire another one. Right  now I have two in various stages of creation. Part of a set of three based on Norse myths. Maybe some day I will post pictures.

Then there are pictures, I like to draw and collect pictures that inspire my imagination. I also make jewelry. Beaded necklaces and bracelets made of beads I buy from friends who are bead makers. I joke that I can't make beads so I support my artist friends and use theirs.

I also knit and weave, but not in hot weather. These are cool weather hobbies. And some people just ski.

Then there are books to read, fictional and non fictional. I have been working my way through the Five Foot Book Shelf for many years now. Look it up. Currently I am reading the poems and songs of Robert Burns and I can always be found re-reading one of Jane's books. Not to give you the impression that I'm really very intellectual I am also addicted to the Sookie Stackhouse series, think True Blood. And a little known sleeper called the Dresden Files by Jim Butcher. Every girl needs a rich fantasy life.

So with all these options, not to mention the vast array of entertainment found on the internet these days, I am bored or is that why am I bored?  Bet if I thought about it for a little bit more, I'd come up with a longer list of things I could be doing but that is not the point. Not one of these forms of entertainment are currently interesting to me. When I have the time to do something I'm not interested in doing any of these things. I'm not interested in doing much of anything.

Now don't go worrying about me.  I'm not depressed or anything like that. I'm just bored or am I tired?

Life has become a series of personal commitments.  I'm committed to attend a hand full of regular meetings for various groups I support in one fashion or another. If I think about them I remain convinced that they represent good causes and are worthy of my time and attention. So I'm not really concerned that my commitments are bad choices.  Believe me when I say I've done that before.  This list represents a choice number of well intended and generally well functioning volunteer organizations. All of which are carefully spaced to demand only a small part of my free time.  I learned the hard way that I have to allocate sufficient personal down time or I get sick(er). Exhaustion is an ugly thing.

Wa La! I've figured it out!! I know why I'm bored.  See I like to be a busy person but I can't afford to be so busy that I have no down time. Chris you just said that.  Busy people don't like down time. We like to be busy. So even though I have a nice long list of down time ish things to do, my brain is saying in it's own inimitable way. These are not busy things.

See last week I made a necklace for a friend's birthday present and had a great time doing it.  It was fun and interesting because I had a deadline and the concern that my friend would not like the piece. She loved it by the way. But now the jewelry stuff just sits there being uninteresting again. Is this getting somewhere? I may be on to something.  How do I convince myself that downtime is interesting and resting is good. Yeah my head knows it but apparently my soul is still out on the topic.  Yes I have a soul. 

But that is another blog.