Thursday, April 2, 2015

Silk Grace

A year ago on Ash Wednesday I put a small woven piece of palm leaf around my wrist. And I wore that small crown of thorns through until Sunset on Easter day.  On Easter day I exchanged the frail dried wreath of palm for a braid of silk threads.  This reminder did not come off my wrist until this Ash Wednesday when I unceremoniously clipped if off my wrist. As Easter approaches of my 40 days with no crown of thorn or silk I find myself waxing quixotic for the daily reminder.

You see those two small bindings on my wrist were a daily reminder of my sins and God’s grace. For 40 days last year I bore the small discomfort of a dried braid around my wrist. And for 40 days this year I bore the great discomfort of not feeling the satin embrace of my Lord’s grace.

So when you ask me what I gave up for Lent next year I’ll show you.

Monday, September 22, 2014

So I've decided to use this site to try out the gratitude tips suggested by the Happiness Institute in their latest newsletter.  If you want to follow them go out to;

Here are the tips;
"If you'd like to enjoy some or all of the benefits referred to (happiness, improved quality of life, better brain function and more) then try some of these simple but powerful tips...
  1. Find a mindfulness practice that works for you and practice it, stick at it daily, for at least a month
  2. Keep a gratitude journal writing down, daily, all those things in your life for which you're grateful
  3. Share those things in your life that make you "thankful";you can do this on The Happiness Institute's Facebook Page (HERE) and/or join our friends over at Project Thankful (HERE)
  4. Include, in as many conversations as possible, a focus on what's going well(rather than just what's not going well)
  5. And finally, just as it's important to focus on positives in life it's also important to screen out those things that unnecessarily cause distress or hurt."
So here goes...

1. I meditate and pray daily, Check
2. This is new - FB tends to be my negative journal.  So I'll have to strive to reduce or remove negative stuff.  Starting with "Friends" who post stuff that pushes my buttons. Or maybe this is #5?
3. Here is the really hard one. Even explaining how come it's hard would sound negative.
     (1) My son volunteering to drive me to work, because my car is in the shop today.
     (2) A young friend's complimentary description of me. Ah shucks! blushes.
     (3) For reaching that time in my life when my free time is my own. No more having to squeeze "Me time" between work, soccer matches and Parent Teacher meetings.
4. I was thinking I need more of those positive posters around to remind me to do this step.
5. See 2. 

See you later,,,,

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Mrs. I don't want to always be right

You know the joke that goes: "When I married Mr. Right I didn't know his middle name was Always."

Okay so I'm not terribly original but the sentiment is the same.  I wanted to be right about this but not always. What did I want to be right about, but not this time, you ask?  Well it's complicated. Someone I know made a decision that set my alarms off.  I just knew it was not going to work out. But my sensible voice kept telling me to butt out and let this responsible person make their own decisions. Yes the other side was going to show it's ugly face any time but I was convinced that expressing my concerns would only serve to alienate us from each other and that when the tide turned we needed to be close.

So here I am close to a heart broken person who is trying to pull it back together. I know with fair certainty that this too will pass still my heart is broken too.

We reach a certain age and the desire to care for others drives us to do things that we never imagined we would ever do. If you had asked me as a kid to sit at a dying persons side for days in a row reading to them. I would have begged you to not make me. But I've done that and would not have missed a minute of it for the world. If you showed me a picture of my dear husband when he was a teenager and told me we would be a happy old married couple someday, I would have laughed. As a young athletic person in my twenties if you had told me that someday I'd be so weak that I'd sit and ask for help for the slightest thing willingly, that would have been the fight of your life.

Still even in these moments when everything I once believed to be true turned out to be figments of my over active imagination. Still in those kind of moments I see that I was driven to be there in that place at that time. Because someone is/was going to need me or need something I can/will do for them. Being there for someone includes sharing some of their heartbreak. I'm not good at quoting scripture very accurately. I'm always forgetting the chapter or verse numbers. "Jesus wept.."

Does this all sound like I'm thinking that I am Wonder Woman.  Nah I'd never wear that short-boot combination. 

So maybe I'm Mrs. Never Right? Or perhaps Ms. Sometimes Right.