Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Mrs. I don't want to always be right

You know the joke that goes: "When I married Mr. Right I didn't know his middle name was Always."

Okay so I'm not terribly original but the sentiment is the same.  I wanted to be right about this but not always. What did I want to be right about, but not this time, you ask?  Well it's complicated. Someone I know made a decision that set my alarms off.  I just knew it was not going to work out. But my sensible voice kept telling me to butt out and let this responsible person make their own decisions. Yes the other side was going to show it's ugly face any time but I was convinced that expressing my concerns would only serve to alienate us from each other and that when the tide turned we needed to be close.

So here I am close to a heart broken person who is trying to pull it back together. I know with fair certainty that this too will pass still my heart is broken too.

We reach a certain age and the desire to care for others drives us to do things that we never imagined we would ever do. If you had asked me as a kid to sit at a dying persons side for days in a row reading to them. I would have begged you to not make me. But I've done that and would not have missed a minute of it for the world. If you showed me a picture of my dear husband when he was a teenager and told me we would be a happy old married couple someday, I would have laughed. As a young athletic person in my twenties if you had told me that someday I'd be so weak that I'd sit and ask for help for the slightest thing willingly, that would have been the fight of your life.

Still even in these moments when everything I once believed to be true turned out to be figments of my over active imagination. Still in those kind of moments I see that I was driven to be there in that place at that time. Because someone is/was going to need me or need something I can/will do for them. Being there for someone includes sharing some of their heartbreak. I'm not good at quoting scripture very accurately. I'm always forgetting the chapter or verse numbers. "Jesus wept.."

Does this all sound like I'm thinking that I am Wonder Woman.  Nah I'd never wear that short-boot combination. 

So maybe I'm Mrs. Never Right? Or perhaps Ms. Sometimes Right.